Obesity Guidelines
By larry r Linville

Who decides how much I should weigh?
Where’s their authority to say?
Are they also fat like you and me
or just as skinny as they can be?

Do they know they want me to weigh
less than I did on graduation day?
I know I’m fat as fat can be
but I’d look bad at one thirty-three.

I had my feet in the stirrup
until that crazy fructose corn syrup
was placed in everything I ate
which was piled high upon my plate.

It seemed that the tempting food
that looked and tasted very good
was not the thing good for me
but I just couldn’t let it be.

I just don’t like someone fat
wanting to make me like Jack Sprat
with anything short of a knife.
I must settle to be like Sprat’s wife.