Lift Your Arms If You’re Sure
By larry r Linville

I’m secure in my maleness
As secure as I can be
My wife’s sweet deodorant
Is good enough for me.

I often cannot find my Brut
Or other manly smelling stuff
When you get to my advanced age
There’s no need to prove you’re rough.

I saw that plastic dispenser
When I awoke from my nap
So I picked it up in great haste
And slowly removed the cap.

I turned the wheel at the bottom
And it advance some soft clear gel
While I rubbed in on my arm pits
I noticed a different smell.

I looked at the container
On which was printed Icy Hot
And knew in a split second
Her pain killer I had got.

My body smelled like Ben Gay
An ointment smell was so plain
It gave me a strange aroma
But my arm pits had no pain.

Next time I’ll look more closely
Before my deodorant I don
Because once it’s been applied
It can never be withdrawn.