Let Me Call You Sweetheart – I’m Your Waitress
By Larry Linville
The eating out market has shrunk
and restaurant income is less
so let me call you sweetheart
because today I’m your waitress.
I have observed you are obese
and you are missing all your hair
but the size of my tip depends
on the guy sitting in that chair.
It takes much talent it is true
and my actions and words are bolder
perhaps it will increase my tip
if I gently touch your shoulder.
My income’s important to me
if I’m to enjoy a good life
I hope my light flirting with you
doesn’t offend your dear wife.
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Cell Phones and Prayer
Cell Phones and Prayer
By Larry Linville
Thousands exit the convention hall
grabbing cell phones at the same time.
How do all these signals go out?
There seems to be no reason or rhyme.
It’s more than my small mind can grasp.
I can’t figure it out at all
how everyone dials their number
and each phone completes its call.
This must be much like prayer, I guess.
It always seems to me very odd
how millions are making requests
and each message is heard by God.
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
By Larry Linville
Thousands exit the convention hall
grabbing cell phones at the same time.
How do all these signals go out?
There seems to be no reason or rhyme.
It’s more than my small mind can grasp.
I can’t figure it out at all
how everyone dials their number
and each phone completes its call.
This must be much like prayer, I guess.
It always seems to me very odd
how millions are making requests
and each message is heard by God.
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Robins, Frogs and Spring
Robins, Frogs and Spring
By Larry Linville
Robins have been here for a while.
You must look at them and smile.
They come early because they’re bold.
Still they endure a lot of cold.
Temperatures begin to climb
and people believe it’s sublime.
But they’re just living in a fog
because they haven’t heard the frog.
Now the frog begins to croak
but it’s not spring, it’s just a joke.
“When you hear the frog,” my dad said,
“they’ll once more have ice o’er their head.”
One more cold spell will come our way
then spring will arrive in full sway
so we can put our coats away
and bring out our shorts as we play.
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
By Larry Linville
Robins have been here for a while.
You must look at them and smile.
They come early because they’re bold.
Still they endure a lot of cold.
Temperatures begin to climb
and people believe it’s sublime.
But they’re just living in a fog
because they haven’t heard the frog.
Now the frog begins to croak
but it’s not spring, it’s just a joke.
“When you hear the frog,” my dad said,
“they’ll once more have ice o’er their head.”
One more cold spell will come our way
then spring will arrive in full sway
so we can put our coats away
and bring out our shorts as we play.
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Eleanor Rigby Today
By Larry Linville
Beatles sang years ago
of Eleanor Rigby and Father McKenzie
and all the lonely people
but the list keeps growing
of people and things
which should be included today.
A person sitting in a pew
ignored by the cliques
because of his clothes
or her reputation
which nobody really knows.
A clergy stands up to preach
a sermon she prepared
for many hours last week
to people who whispered
and laughed
and slept
and read books.
An old pipe organ
stands silenced for many years
because nobody
knows how to play it
and will not take lessons.
A bell sits idle
in a church steeple
after the rope broke
and nobody
had time to replace it.
Dusty old books
in the church library
unvisited in a day of
books on cassette
and DVD’s.
A classic hymn
hidden away in a hymnal
goes unsung
in all it’s undiscovered beauty
because nobody learns it
and sings it.
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
By Larry Linville
Beatles sang years ago
of Eleanor Rigby and Father McKenzie
and all the lonely people
but the list keeps growing
of people and things
which should be included today.
A person sitting in a pew
ignored by the cliques
because of his clothes
or her reputation
which nobody really knows.
A clergy stands up to preach
a sermon she prepared
for many hours last week
to people who whispered
and laughed
and slept
and read books.
An old pipe organ
stands silenced for many years
because nobody
knows how to play it
and will not take lessons.
A bell sits idle
in a church steeple
after the rope broke
and nobody
had time to replace it.
Dusty old books
in the church library
unvisited in a day of
books on cassette
and DVD’s.
A classic hymn
hidden away in a hymnal
goes unsung
in all it’s undiscovered beauty
because nobody learns it
and sings it.
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Going To The Convention
Going To The Convention
By Larry Linville
Going to a convention
hip, hip, and a big hurray.
Got to get all fired up
there’s no time for me to play.
Sitting in a seat up high
speakers are very small
I have to watch the speakers
on a big screen on the wall.
The seat assigned where I sit
proves to be a great trial.
Everyone seems to believe
it’s just another aisle.
My behind is getting tired
and I really have to go
but by the time I get there
you know I’ll be too slow.
The food is so expensive
still my body needs to eat.
If it wasn’t for the high price
it would be a tasty treat.
I get too weary to sit
and I’m much to tired to stand.
There’s a big bed in my room
which feels like it’s made of sand.
I’ll be going home soon
At least that’s my intention
then I’ll talk about how much
I enjoyed the convention
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
By Larry Linville
Going to a convention
hip, hip, and a big hurray.
Got to get all fired up
there’s no time for me to play.
Sitting in a seat up high
speakers are very small
I have to watch the speakers
on a big screen on the wall.
The seat assigned where I sit
proves to be a great trial.
Everyone seems to believe
it’s just another aisle.
My behind is getting tired
and I really have to go
but by the time I get there
you know I’ll be too slow.
The food is so expensive
still my body needs to eat.
If it wasn’t for the high price
it would be a tasty treat.
I get too weary to sit
and I’m much to tired to stand.
There’s a big bed in my room
which feels like it’s made of sand.
I’ll be going home soon
At least that’s my intention
then I’ll talk about how much
I enjoyed the convention
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Needing To Go
Needing to Go
By Larry Linville
When I was young I believed
I could drive and not be relieved.
Now I’m older it seems to me
I more quickly need to pee.
It seems rest stops on the road
Are there to help empty my load.
Active kidneys and weak bladder
Make my travels so much badder.
Kids used to shout “Dad let’s stop!”
Now I’m the one about to pop.
“Hold it” seems different to me
When I’m the one needing to pee.
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
By Larry Linville
When I was young I believed
I could drive and not be relieved.
Now I’m older it seems to me
I more quickly need to pee.
It seems rest stops on the road
Are there to help empty my load.
Active kidneys and weak bladder
Make my travels so much badder.
Kids used to shout “Dad let’s stop!”
Now I’m the one about to pop.
“Hold it” seems different to me
When I’m the one needing to pee.
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
A Trip to the Sale Barn
A Trip to the Sale Barn
By Larry Linville
It was Saturday morning.
Cows were milked and hogs were slopped.
We had put out all the hay
and went inside as we stopped
so we could go into town
to the weekly sale barn task.
I never knew why we went
cause I guess I never asked.
We watched them sell feeder calves
and milk cows and a bull.
They drove them into a ring
and I never found it dull.
The smell was not delightful
cows, manure and cigar smoke.
We went into the cafe
and we didn’t even choke.
Those sale barns are gone today
but I visit in my mind
especially the ambiance
of that café where we dined.
Fried chicken, gravy and beans
a meal for which I’d die
a roll and a great big coke
and ice cream on cherry pie..
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
By Larry Linville
It was Saturday morning.
Cows were milked and hogs were slopped.
We had put out all the hay
and went inside as we stopped
so we could go into town
to the weekly sale barn task.
I never knew why we went
cause I guess I never asked.
We watched them sell feeder calves
and milk cows and a bull.
They drove them into a ring
and I never found it dull.
The smell was not delightful
cows, manure and cigar smoke.
We went into the cafe
and we didn’t even choke.
Those sale barns are gone today
but I visit in my mind
especially the ambiance
of that café where we dined.
Fried chicken, gravy and beans
a meal for which I’d die
a roll and a great big coke
and ice cream on cherry pie..
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Monday, March 9, 2009
The Old Men of Spring
The Old Men of Spring
By Larry Linville
Spring’s arrival brings out the old men
with walking shorts, usually plaid
from above their stomach
reaching down to their knees
with white ivory legs
reaching down to their black dress socks
and their back dress shoes
shining so bright.
I say they are old
but some around forty
who embarrass their kids
with such out of place style
and a garage door opener
fastened at their waist
substituting for the cell phone
they do not own.
On their head is a panama hat
or a ten gallon
or a sombrero
or even worse
a bandana tied as a sweat band
around their bald head
or a visor
from the nearby bank.
Just in case you were hoping for spring
you might want six more weeks
of winter’s old sweats with holes
which hide those white legs
and dark socks
which may be accompanied
by old tennis shoes
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
By Larry Linville
Spring’s arrival brings out the old men
with walking shorts, usually plaid
from above their stomach
reaching down to their knees
with white ivory legs
reaching down to their black dress socks
and their back dress shoes
shining so bright.
I say they are old
but some around forty
who embarrass their kids
with such out of place style
and a garage door opener
fastened at their waist
substituting for the cell phone
they do not own.
On their head is a panama hat
or a ten gallon
or a sombrero
or even worse
a bandana tied as a sweat band
around their bald head
or a visor
from the nearby bank.
Just in case you were hoping for spring
you might want six more weeks
of winter’s old sweats with holes
which hide those white legs
and dark socks
which may be accompanied
by old tennis shoes
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
What About These Twitters?
What About These Twitters?
By Larry Linville
So now we have the great Twitter
on which all people tweet.
Does this mean they have bird seed
for the Twitter to eat?
They tell me how they start the day
and when they wash their face
going out to face the world
to help the human race.
With all these tweeters on the net
sharing all they do
a virus might take over
and give us the bird flu.
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
By Larry Linville
So now we have the great Twitter
on which all people tweet.
Does this mean they have bird seed
for the Twitter to eat?
They tell me how they start the day
and when they wash their face
going out to face the world
to help the human race.
With all these tweeters on the net
sharing all they do
a virus might take over
and give us the bird flu.
© Copyright 2009 Larry Linville (UN: larrylinville at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Larry Linville has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
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